Life and Time

I thought that this blog would make me write every day, but it hasn't. I still have my many bad habits, including writing thoughts in my head that I think are gems and never writing them down anywhere so that they are lost to the wind. I think that as some people become older they let the time get the better of them. Time has the upper hand in our lives, and we can't do anything about that. Perhaps now that maybe neutrinos have the capability to travel faster than light, we might have the chance to go back or go forward in time and take back some of what's been taken, take back some of the control. I know, I'm blaming time, an inanimate object, a dimension, that neither thinks nor feels, but time seems to be direly cruel and continues to take me down each day with some new thing. I don't want to dwell on my physical health, beauty, or lack thereof, but it really sucks that these things wear out and become withered and fall out of use. And being wiser is no great trade-off. I know all of the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" of life and I know all of the platitudes. I know enough to know what there is left and what has vanished. I'm almost midway through my 50th year alive on earth, and I'm looking and asking if this is all it is ever going to be. The platitudinous will answer that today is the first day of the rest of my life, and it is up to me to change things, and if I want something I can have it.

I was watching a sappy show this morning on Netflix streaming (another bad habit) and someone said, "Not everyone gets the life that they want." True enough.